bittersweet

Thank you to all of you who kindly offered advice on dealing with winter. Spring is slowly coming; I feel it in the air. Days of warm, windy weather are mixing in with the cold spells, and certainly the green cannot stay away for long!

Today is one of those warm, windy days. I’m sitting in a coffee shop in Hutchinson, a rare treat for me. As I drink my tea (too late in the in the day for coffee!) and wait for the midwife to call me to a pending birth, I’m catching up on bits and pieces of writing that I’ve neglected too long.

For some reason, coming to Hutchinson always makes me feel sad. I don’t exactly know why, but driving the familiar streets and stopping at all my favorite stores and perusing the library on Main Street brings a lump to my throat.

Often in town I meet old friends who greet me with a smile and stop to chat a minute or two. I feel loved and noticed, and incredibly lonely at the same time.

I miss my old life.

But I love my new one.

I’m beginning to think that God never wants His people to be too comfortable. He knows how easy it is for us to slip into complacency.

Maybe this aching loneliness and longing mixed with the peaceful joy that I feel is exactly where God wants me, because I cannot forget that this world is not my home. It is a good place with good people in it, but it isn’t Home.

Maybe the dislocation that I feel is a constant call to become more securely rooted in Him, more dependent on Him, which brings a security that a mere place and mere people cannot bring.

It’s bittersweet.


10 thoughts on “bittersweet

  1. Judy Overholt

    Oh Rosina…I could have written this post myself! ( except locations would be different) 🙂 We’re not Home yet, sister, and until then….bittersweet moments will continue to call us to Him! Blessings!

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  2. No doubt, part of what you miss is your Mennonite church family/culture, of course! It is good to see “old” friends, and good to have new ones. It has been fascinating to me to meet and befriend brothers and sisters in Christs from many cultures, earthly religions, and places. And God created us all. Give thanks for them all! I give thanks for you, my sweet friend, often! Debbie Wolfe

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  3. Marian Hostetler

    You’ve said it so well, Rosina! It’s worded so perfectly. Those feelings. Bittersweet indeed, and a call to rest in Him who keeps calling us higher. And wider. And deeper. Blessings!

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  4. Jason Weaver

    Thanks Roseana, your writing blessed my heart! I was touched as I read, because it put into words my own heart! It helped me feel ok when I’m feeling this way…as I go to past familiar places and to realize that I’m not the same person, but love what God is doing! Blessings

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