heartbreak

God, I cannot sleep,
Even though I’m exhausted, I cannot sleep because the pain strikes so deep.
So deep it pins me to my bed. I want to get up to pray, to touch
his suffering skin, but it hurts too much.
The sob lies stillborn in my throat as I think about my son and wonder why.
You said you loved the children, then why,
Why are you so deaf to his cry?

Why are you so deaf to his cry?


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16 thoughts on “heartbreak

  1. David Shenk

    I love your honesty. Some people are uncomfortable with this kind of prayer, but David the psalmist modeled it all the time. I pray God brings your little one swift relief in Jesus mighty name!

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    1. Thank you, David. Your words are so validating. Sometimes I need to express my doubt in order to move through it to a deeper faith in Jesus. And thank you for your prayers!

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      1. Anonymous

        “to express my doubt in order to move through it to a deeper faith in Jesus.”
        YES. As much as it can seem wrong to put those kind of feelings into words sometimes, I’m beginning to see it as a necessary step to take before I can move on.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Lydia

    So beautifully honest and raw, Rosina. Thank you for sharing. It connected with me…. You are brave to allow yourself to do the hard thing of struggling and verbalizing your doubt. Like David said above, many people are uncomfortable with this, but God is big enough to help us through our seasons of doubt. A wise lady once told me (after we lost our daughter) that it’s okay to feel the anger, the grief, the pain, the questions as long as we don’t let ourselves stay there for always.

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